I ran across the About Me page for a certain card charlatan and decided to spruce it up a bit. See if this reminds you of anyone:

More Than Just An eBay ID {I'm a major scam artist} !!!

Welcome to my eBay "{What I want you to mislead you into thinking} About Me" page and thank you for visiting! It is my most {in}sincere and {self}-important goal to be far more than just another anonymous eBay baseball card dealer. I'm a baseball card and memoriabilia collector myself and have been for over 30 years {inspite of extensive research from promoters, collectors and dealers that reveal absolutely no evidence of that being the case coupled with the fact I never put a single card on the PSA Registry}. I understand that you, as a customer, want quality and reliability in who you choose to buy from {and that's why I prey on easy marks like you and go through this phony charade}, and I do take my eBay baseball card business very seriously {to the extent of being careful of not getting exposed for my criminal activity}. In short, I believe in doing things right {OK, well that's a bold face lie}, and I look for the same in the sellers who I buy from {which I realize is a blatant double standard}. I am firmly committed to first class customer service {such as mercilessly spamming all prior customers and registry members regarding my current auctions}. That means accurate descriptions {except when it comes to acknowledging alterations}, large sharp images {thanks to my trim work}, quick acknowledgement of payment received {as I laugh all the way to the bank} and when your item will ship, safe/secure packaging, fair well-explained packaging/shipping prices {OK, so I do gouge you on shipping costs} , and prompt shipping. For your protection, I ship all cards in sturdy shipping boxes, not bubble mailers. I include USPS Delivery/Signature Confirmation and USPS Insurance in every order. From mid-2004 through August 2006, I was an eBay Silver PowerSeller {you see, those were the days when I just tried to get junky 70/30 centered sliders past PSA in hopes that some hapless label-chasing card collector will buy that low pop rubbish}, and on August 13, 2006, I was promoted to an eBay Gold Powerseller {about 6 months after I bought my rota-trimmer and systematically started micro-trimming cards on a widescale basis}. If you ever have any questions or problems, please don't hesitate to contact me {of course, that doesn't mean you'll get an honest reply or a reply at all} {That's what I'm really trying to say here}.

Edited by bbo (01/12/08 02:19 PM)
#1 in 1959 Topps. Officially known as Assassin according to stanthemanfan 3/31/2014 and god of minor league basketball according to cammb.